The Skier’s Ten Commandments

lifted from telemark tips

1. Thou shall have no other sports before ski.

2. Thou shalt not take with thee any showshoes, neither any toboggans, nor any other means of transportation from the heavens above to the earth beneath.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for what of it?

4. Remember the winter-time and keep in wholly, in the summer shalt thou labor and do all thy work, but the winter is the season of the ski, thy Lord and master. In its evenings thou shalt not fritter away the time with backgammon, nor with red-dog, nor michigan, nor tiddleywinks, nor jig-saw puzzles, but in the sweat of thy brow shalt thou polish and wax thy skis. For in ten hours shalt thou labor and climb up the hill, and in ten minutes shalt thou be down again. (Oh yeah.)

5. Carry thy own skis and thy knapsack, that thy friends shall not avoid thee, and that thy days may be long on the ski trips that thou makest.

6. Thou shalt not dither.

7. Thou shalt not commit sitzmarks.

8. Thou shalt not swipe thy neighbor's ski-wax.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness of thy downhill runs, nor thy jump turns, nor thy telemarks.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s sealskins, nor thy neighbor’s agility, nor his Stem-Christiania, nor his Closed-Christiania, nor his Open-Christiania., nor any Christiania which is thy neighbor’s.